‘tis the season. The holidays are often thought of as a time of joy, bonding, and celebration. But for those grieving the loss of a loved one, it can be an immensely difficult time. Every little thing—a favourite holiday treat, a cherished Christmas ornament—can serve as a painful reminder of their absence.
When our family is enjoying the holidays together, I feel my son Rishaan’s absence even more. His chair at the dinner table is empty. His favourite dino plate and blue cup are unused. I bake his favourite chocolate cake, but he is not there to lick the dough off the bowl. Even writing a holiday card becomes an emotional challenge because I can no longer include Rishaan’s name at the bottom. It always tugs at my heartstrings. To cope, I’ve started drawing a tiny heart on our cards—a small gesture that signifies he may not be with us physically but will forever live in our hearts.
December is also Rishaan’s birthday month. He would have turned four this year if AT/RT had not cut his life so tragically short. We would have been shopping for his birthday and planning his party, but instead, I find myself contemplating ways to honour his memory. I plan to create a photobook of his life. Sorting through his adorable pictures and revisiting those precious moments offers a bittersweet comfort, allowing me to relive the joy he brought into our lives.
Grieving during the holidays often feels isolating, but connecting with others who have faced a similar loss can provide solace. It brings me a sense of comfort to know that I’m not alone. Organizations like The Compassionate Friends of Canada support bereaved parents across the country. Many of their chapters host candle-lighting memorial services during this season, and their Facebook page offers a space for people to share their experiences, coping strategies, and words of encouragement.
If you know someone who is grieving, remember that no number of festive lights, baked goods, or holiday cheer can replace the simple gift of acknowledgment. What bothers me most is when friends and relatives avoid mentioning Rishaan, fearing it will upset me. The truth is, hearing his name and sharing memories of him keeps his spirit alive. It reassures me that he hasn’t been forgotten.
So, this holiday season, if you have someone in your life who is grieving, consider giving them the gift of remembrance. Ask about their loved one. Share your favourite memory of them. Offer a listening ear or a comforting hug. These simple acts of kindness can go a long way in helping someone feel seen, loved, and supported.
Neha Bhatnagar